Drawing Near to Christ While Witnessing Your Loved One's Agony

A few days ago, I witnessed my daughter’s skin being torn from her body … 

the excruciating pain she endured is hard to shake …

For me, the saints’ martyrdoms that were most disturbing were those whose agonies consisted of their skin being ripped, torn, or cut from their bodies or those who were burnt alive…

Hearing about the sufferings of these saints left me cringing and grimacing in sympathy at just the thought of the unimaginable violence they endured.

This is why I wrote about the Apostle St. Bartholomew. When I found out he was flayed alive, I knew that his horrific pain and sacrifice needed to remembered and honored.

Likewise I had to share about the young boy saint, Jose Sanchez del Rio when I was blessed to hold onto and praying with the relics while listening to his story: The skin of the soles of his feet were shaved off before he was forced to walk on salt and through dirt and jagged rocks as he was forced through the town and cemetery on the way to his death. His skeletal remains show that this 13-year-old boy was hit and punched so mercilessly that his jaw had been shattered and most of his teeth had been knocked out. He endured all this rather than deny Jesus, shouting “Viva Christo Rey” – “Long live Christ the King!” before he was killed by a firing squad. (It is so worth reading more about him and watching the movie, For Greater Glory, which shares his life!)

Additionally, it was incredibly moving for me to visit the ancient Church of St. Lawrence in Rome, and venerating the man who died so generously that he could quip, “Turn me over, I’m done on this side” as they roasted him alive over a fire.

Lastly, I wrote St. Polycarp, who assured his executioners that they didn’t need to tie him to the stake as they placed him on a pyre to be set on fire. Perhaps God spared him the pain of being burned alive as a beautiful smell of baking bread emanated from him and the flames fanned out as a sail around him – forcing his executioners to kill him through the sword as the fire could not touch him.

I've contemplated again the sufferings of these saints in light of my daughter's own suffering.

My daughter’s agony was a result of sunburn.

Not your typical sunburn, or even the worst sunburn you’ve ever experienced if you’re fair skinned like me,

rather it was the flesh-killing kind…

I watched her writhe in agony as more and more blisters formed on her body… blisters the size of tide pods, which eventually conglomerated and joined together into a large mass of what looked like boiled skin…

A sunburn so bad that this 95 lb young woman’s feet and ankles swelled like tree trunks.

The pain of blood rushing down into these swollen burnt areas of flesh has made getting up to stand or walk unbearable.

So when the burn unit nurses tore off her top layer of skin it was for her healing …

It was a miraculous intervention that we were desperately sought as her skin became ever more leathery looking and her pain and symptoms increased each day and the doctors we had seen had no idea of how to help her…

I reached out in desperation for prayers from those whom I knew to be great prayer warriors… I prayed for help and guidance as I didn’t know where to turn, because I knew that she desperately needed medical attention.

Within a few hours after these pleas went out – a series of miracles took place – as I was given the advice to call the burn unit at a local hospital and ask to speak to a nurse.

 

The nurse who picked up the phone was surprisingly easy to reach – after waiting for hours and still hearing nothing back from doctors – this nurse picked up the phone, listened and offered to see my daughter and help. (I will forever be grateful for this nurse's kindness and generous help and for those who prayed for her.)

Within the hour, this nurse had her scanned and skinned and bandaged up with specialized anti bacterial burn dressings that would stay on for a week.

It was a true miracle. She has a long road to recovery and her pain is ongoing, but she will be well. 

Yet, the trauma of seeing her in pain, as the flesh underneath the skin was exposed, still leaves me mentally cringing and raw. 

My emotions are in tatters …

At both witnessing the agony of your loved one, and the desperation of striving to find help when no help can be found - perhaps this is all exasperated by the recent months-long, years-long searching for medical help for my husband….

who, likewise, endured incredible pain and suffering that no one we had seen could help; 

but, who, eventually, through miraculous interventions, is now on a long, ongoing path toward healing …

There are few things more painful than having to watch helplessly as your loved one suffers…

Particularly moving for me was going to the Stations of the Cross last night, and meditating on the tenth station, when Jesus’ skin was ripped from him as they stripped him of his garments right before they crucified him.

As I stated at the beginning, this has always been particularly moving for me, but the depth of what he endured for love of us has never been more real…

Nor more emotionally jarring…

Again, there are few things more painful than having to watch helplessly as your loved ones suffer… especially if it is your child who is suffering.

Never before has the physical sorrow of Our Lady been so real for me.

Her mental and emotional sorrow – the sorrow of her soul –

has been an indescribable gift to me for many years …

her motherly intercession and love have helped me endure tremendous sorrow…

How much greater is my understanding of how watching Jesus’ agony must have physically traumatized Mary –

How deeply the judgment of bystanders added to her pain –

how indescribably deep was the trauma and sorrow she endured!

O Mama, for although you were perfectly conformed to the Will of God, still you were human!

How much more deeply do I know the physical trauma and suffering of watching your child be in torture … 

I know what we experienced was nothing in comparison - 

and that the agony of her skin being ripped from her body was all for my daughter’s good…

Yet, it is a life lesson.

It has been a soul lesson that has drawn me deeper into knowing a fraction more of the pain both Jesus and Mary endured out of love for us.

Oh, the depth of God’s love!

Oh, how wondrous and unfathomable it is!

It is my prayer, that just as my daughter has experienced a portion of Jesus’ agony, it, likewise, gives her a greater awareness and appreciation of the cost of her salvation and the depth of suffering Jesus freely choose in order for her to be in union with Him both now in prayer and forever in eternity.

She already has such a strong faith, but I pray that Jesus’ Sacrifice penetrates ever more deeply in her soul and inspires her to love him with ever greater love in return so much so that she longs to live a life ever closer to Him.

I pray that she may know to the core of her being that He, alone, is the only One who can fulfill her and make her whole - being there for her with perfect love and compassion that helps her carry her crosses, as well as live a life of such great LOVE of God that she begins to experience ever more her heaven on earth.

I pray that she,

and all of our children,

fall desperately in love with Jesus –

with a love so deep that it carries them through all they have to endure,

while it brings them love and joy and peace unimaginable besides

through offering themselves to God and to others –

for that alone is the secret to happiness. 

 © Janet Moore. 2019. All Rights Reserved.

Imagine! The Place Where the "Word Became Flesh"!

Happy Feast of the Annunciation!!!
I first wrote this on the feast of Our Lady of Loreto, which commemorates the date when the Holy House first landed in Italy on December 10th, 1294.  
Yes, you read that right. 
The house LANDED in Italy.  
Yes, it flew through the air and then, yes, it landed in Italy - in a town called Loreto.
It is quite a story, but there is lots of historical evidence that points to it being true. 
I've given several retreats on it, because it is one of my favorite pilgrimage sites I've ever visited. 
It is truly amazing. 
I've researched it so thoroughly that I have far too much information to share in this short article. 
But, if you believe God can work miracles, you can believe this is to be true. 
For a far greater miracle than a simple house flying through the sky is what happened inside of it. 
It is a story we've heard so often that we fail to realize how incredible and amazing it is. 
The God, Who created the whole universe, Who created you and me and everything seen and unseen... 
The God, who holds us in being... became flesh inside a young teenage girl, Whom He created, when she said yes. 
This house has such an amazing story because of what took place inside it's walls. 
God became man!
It is the Home of the Annunciation!!!
Imagine!
Think of how St. John Paul II traveled the globe far and wide - going to just about every holy place known to man, but when he entered into this holy for the first time, he realized:
"Here is the holiest place on earth!"
Imagine!

Imagine!
Here the “Word became Flesh”!!!
Imagine!
... standing, kneeling, praying in the same spot where the Angel Gabriel came to ask Mary if she would be the mother of God.
Imagine!
... being in the place where the Holy Spirit came upon Mary and overshadowed her -- and the Second Person of the Holy Trinity, God from God from all eternity, deigned to be conceived in the womb of this precious, innocent, faithful, warrior of a girl --
And HE BECAME MAN!
 

I was privileged to make a pilgrimage to the Holy House of Loreto -- a site that can claim to be the home of the Annunciation, Mary's birthplace and the home of the Holy Family in Nazareth - the home they lived in from the time they returned from Egypt!
Imagine!
... being in the home where the Holy Family ate, where they worked, where they slept, where they played and laughed...
... being in the place where Jesus grew up and became a man and the place where St. Joseph died....
... being in a place of countless miracles -- a place where even numerous Popes and saints came to pray and were cured.
The Holy House draws millions who seek God and the Holy Family and Our Lady's intercession.
 

Even it's presence on the coast-land town of Loreto in Italy is a miracle.
Evidence supports the tradition that the home was carried by angels from Nazareth at the time of one of the fiercest radical Muslim invasions!
It happened during a period when the Muslim invaders were determined to kill all Christians and destroy all the Christian holy places they held dear. 

We know this in part because Mary told us so. 

The Blessed Mother appeared first to a priest, and then, later, to a monk explaining the miraculous flight, but she also said that her home had become a Church from the earliest days of Christianity - specifying that St. Peter would often offer the Mass there after Jesus' resurrection, which is why you see the altar in their home.
She said her home had been saved again and again for centuries by the crusaders, but at one point it would have been destroyed except for the supernatural help of the angels.
The home has only 3 sides - as the fourth side was a grotto - a cave in the hillside.
This is why the Church of the Annunciation in Nazareth is also honored as the place of the Annunciation -- as the Basilica stands over the cave that could not be destroyed.
 

There is so much much to share, but for now, I can summarize by saying: This is one of my favorite places on earth!
It was truly an amazing place to be, to pray at -- 

and it moved me so deeply that I have offered whole retreats around it in order to strive to share its mysteries.
May just hearing about its existence, its wonders and its holiness be a great source of grace for all who read about it!

And together may we ask: 

Our Lady of Loreto, pray for us!
O, Holy Family, pray for us and for all our families!

O dear unborn Jesus, conceived in the womb of the Virgin Mary, have mercy on us!

O, Holy Angels protect us! 

To find out more:

Part I Video of the Holy House by Bob and Penny Lord

Part II Video of the Holy House by Bob and Penny Lord

© Janet Moore. 2020. All Rights Reserved.

If St. James Needed An Apparition of Mary, How Can We Say Apparitions Aren't Necessary For Us?

If an apparition of Mary was needed for St. James, how can we say apparitions aren't really necessary for us? 
...and if she is truly coming to us, how can we say we don't need her?
How can we ignore her presence and even disparage this astounding gift from heaven?

Every Feast of St. James the Greater, on July 25th, I can't help but think of Medjugorje, a place known for the millions of pilgrims who journey there every year because it's extraordinary reports of decades-long daily Apparitions of Mary, which are accompanied by signs and wonders and countless conversions.

Photo by Janet Moore of our most recent pilgrimage May 31, 2017

I think of Medjugorje when contemplating St. James because the famous two spire parish church in Medjugorje is named after him. Interestingly - and providentially - the Church was named after St. James, who is the patron saint of pilgrims, before the great multitude of pilgrims were even dreamt of. 

I also connect Medjugorje to St. James, because he was the first person in the history of the Church to receive an apparition of Our Lady!

The first Marian apparition of the Church is amazing (just like every one since)!
This is what took place: 

James, the brother of St. John and one of the sons of Zebedee, whom Scripture tells us left his father and his livelihood immediately in answer to Jesus' call was attempting to evangelize Spain.
Just seven years after Jesus' death and resurrection - when the apostles had scattered throughout the world to spread the Good News as Jesus commissioned them to do - James was trying with great futility to bring Christ to the people of Spain.
However, all of his attempts seemed to be an utter failure and he became so discouraged that he had decided to leave Spain and never return. As he was leaving, he prayed for help, and in answer to his prayers, Mary appeared to him near the banks of the River Ebro, near the city now known as Zaragoza on January 2, 40 A.D.

Mary appeared seated on a throne -- on clouds and accompanied by angels -- even while she was still alive and living in Palestine.

(Move over St. Pio... the Mother of God was the first saint to bi-locate in history!!!)

Mary came to comfort and encourage James and his companions. She told him she had come to help him and asked that a chapel be built in her honor and presented him with a statue of herself with the infant Jesus, who is holding a dove, on a pillar of jasper, (the jasper is unlike any found in the world). She promised that an angel would always remain to guard the statue, saying:

“This pillar will remain here, and on it my own image, which in this place where you will build my temple, will last and endure with the Holy Faith until the end of time.”                                                                  Allardyce, “Historic Shrines of Spain,” 9.

Every year 400,000 faithful come to celebrate the commemoration of this miracle on October 12th and honor Nuestra Senora del Pilar, (Our Lady of the Pillar), the patroness of Spain.

"The image of Our Lady of the Pillar is a wooden statue decorated with gold; it is about fifteen inches high. The crown adorning the head of the statue is very intricate. It was made in forty-four days by thirty-three workmen; in it there are 2,836 diamonds cut triangularly, 2725 roses, 145 pearls, 74 emeralds, 62 rubies and 46 sapphires. The crown of the Infant is identical with that of the Virgin, except in size." (https://www.roman-catholic-saints.com/our-lady-of-the-pillar.html)

Miracles abound regarding this Shrine!

"The most prominent miracle occurred in the 17th century. A beggar named Miguel Pellicer from the town of Calanda could not work due to having an amputated leg. He was constantly praying at the shrine for the Blessed Mother’s help and his leg was restored." (https://aleteia.org/2017/10/12/did-you-know-the-1st-apparition-of-the-blessed-mother-was-an-act-of-bilocation/)

 
It is reported that in all of its 2000 year history, the statue has never needed dusting. 
(Perhaps this is a sign of the impeccability of Our Lady's heavenly housekeeping - and attention to detail?!)

The statue also shows no sign of aging, and has survived wars with the Romans, the Goths and the Moors. Evidence of its latest miraculous survival can be seen by looking up while inside the magnificent shrine (the church has been built again and again throughout the centuries until today it is known as the Basilica of Our Lady of the Pillar) when you look up you will see three bombs that were dropped on the Church that failed to detonate during the Spanish Civil War (1936-39).

Considering this first apparition of Mary makes me wonder:
if St. James
-- who was so brave that he gave his life for Christ and was the first apostle to be martyred in 44 AD by King Herod 
-- who was formed by him to be an apostle for three years by Jesus himself
-- who was one of the three closest to Jesus, so thus was privileged to witness 
the raising of Jairus' daughter, 
the Transfiguration and 
Jesus' Agony in the Garden...

Photo taken by Father Pablo https://www.patheos.com/blogs/labmind/2011/10/our-lady-of-pilar.html

Photo taken by Father Pablo https://www.patheos.com/blogs/labmind/2011/10/our-lady-of-pilar.html

If he, even as an apostle and one of the greatest saints in the history of the Church, got so discouraged that he wanted to quit his mission 
-- so much so that he needed a divine intervention ...  
how much more must God understand our own discouragement and failures -- our own wanting to quit -- and even the need we have within us for signs from heaven?

God's understanding of our human need and frailty may, in part, explain why God is sending Mary to us so often and in so many places -- especially in this last century -- a time given over to Satan according to a vision seen by Pope St. Leo XIII. 

For God would never allow this terrible time of evil unless he could bring an even greater good out of it ... for He is never outdone by evil. 

Thus, no matter how horrendous the darkness is in our times... 
(which boasts of more Christians being martyred than all the centuries before combined, and over 1.5 billion unborn babies being slaughtered by abortion throughout the world since 1980 at this writing, and horrific abuse and scandals both within and without of the Church)
this time must also be considered a time of boundless Mercy, 
for Mary being sent to us is a sign that 
GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US
and is so intimately involved in our lives and struggles that He longs to show his love for us daily 

For "where sin abounds, grace abounds all the more." Romans 5:20.

Of course, the greatest way we experience His Presence is in the Most Blessed Sacrament, where He gives HIMSELF to us to feed and nourish us through the Mass and the Sacraments.

Yet, He also gives us His Mother to be our own; 
A mother who, in turn, intercedes for us and is constantly attentive to our needs -- knowing what we need even before we do ourselves -- just as she did for St. James so many years ago.

So, instead of the certain defeat that awaited James in Spain, 
through Our Mother's intercession and help, 
James not only had great success during his lifetime in evangelizing Spain; 
but, even now, hundreds of thousands of pilgrims walk for weeks or months to make the Way of St. James each year (300,000 walked the El Camino de Santiago in 2017). (Erimatica. "Estadística de peregrinos del Camino de Santiago a 2018".) 

If so much success and so many miracles can occur from one brief visit of Our Lady nearly 2000 years ago, what can happen through Our Mother reportedly coming to us EVERY DAY in Medjugorje for nearly four decades???

What if Medjugorje is truly a gift from God? 
... A Divine intervention in answer to our prayers?
....A living example of Our Mother's constant care for us?
WHAT IF MARY IS COMING TO HELP US, BECAUSE WE WOULD CERTAINLY FACE DESTRUCTION WITHOUT HER?  

If St. James needed an apparition of Mary, how can we say it's not necessary for us?
And if she is truly coming to us, how can we ignore and disparage this astounding gift from heaven?

May we pray, together with St. James, that Our Mother's coming to us be received with the love, attention and devotion that it deserves. 
And may we fulfill the reason for her coming - for she has come to save us!!!
May we respond, so that her coming will not have been in vain for us, in Jesus' Name, Amen.

© Updated July 25, 2019.
Janet Moore 2018. All Rights Reserved.
 
Three days before the Feast of the Patron Saint of Pilgrims, the Feast of St. James, in 2018, Archbishop Hoser officiated at his first Mass since being named Pope Francis' Apostolic Visitor to Medjugorje. 
You can find out more about Medjugorje by clicking here and here and here.

What if God Stopped Sending Our Lady to Us in Medjugorje?

Miraculous events and conversions are reported daily in the village of Medjugorje in Bosnia Herzegovina - a small hamlet that is set about an hour inland from the gorgeous Croatian coastline of the Adriatic Sea.  Each day, it is reported that Mary, the mother of Jesus. comes to earth!  Every day, since June 24, 1981, reports detail words spoken from heaven -- words of motherly concern for her children who act as if God no longer exists. 

The reports say Mary comes as the Our Lady of Peace, who longs to bring peace to her children. First of all, a peace of the heart, that comes from a life of faith in her Son, Jesus, Who is the Prince of Peace. This peace can best be obtained by fulfilling the requests of the Blessed Mother, which can be summarized into five actions:

1. Pray, pray, pray!  Pray until it becomes a joy for you. Pray with your heart, so that your prayer is a living encounter with God!
2. Live the Eucharist through the Holy Mass and by loving, adoring and having confidence in Jesus, truly Present in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar.
3. Go to Confession monthly. "Peace! Peace! Peace! Be reconciled with God and among yourselves.  For that, it is necessary to believe, to pray, to fast, and to go to confession."
4. Fast twice a week.  "The best fast is on bread and water. Through fasting and prayer, one can stop wars, one can suspend the laws of nature."
5. Make Scripture a daily part of your family prayer. 

I write in other articles why you might consider believing in these reports, as well as provide documented verification of St. John Paul II's position regarding Medjugorje. 

But, today I want to consider, with other believers in the reports coming from Medjugorje:

What if Our Lady of Medjugorje Never Comes Again?

Given that reports have come daily for over 34 years, when the reported monthly message that is given to Marija on the 25th of every month didn't arrive at its usual time today... and it didn't come, and it didn't come... I began to worry ...  
I usually wouldn't have even noticed the delay, but my daughter and I were home sick today.  I began to wonder:

What if something happened? 
What if Mary didn't appear today? 
What if she doesn't come back again? 
What if we have heard the last message? 
Were we paying attention to the graces these last 34 years? 

After some time pondering the what ifs, I became truly distress and heartbroken at the thought that I might have heard the last message I was ever to hear from Our Lady in Medjugorje... Then, I began to plead with God that He continue sending Our Blessed Mother.  Although many have never heard about the happenings at Medjugorje and others openly oppose it - often citing false or misleading information -- many, many, many people have been touched by Our Lady, with some reports saying over 50 million people have made a pilgrimage there.  

I pleaded... don't give up on us, Blessed Mother!  Please don't stop coming as our Mother to teach, to lead and to love your lost and broken children.

And I understood as I had never before, how incredibly blessed we are-- blessed beyond our understanding -- to have our Mother come to us each day from heaven!!!!! 

As I was praying and wondering why the delay and what might be going on, I had to ask myself: 

Have I taken her presence for granted? 
Have I truly listened to her words and her call for conversion? 
Have I responded to her call? 
Have I truly embraced and received the unfathomable grace pouring out from heaven in order to lead us through this darkness??? 

And then, it happened... reports of the message began to appear online ... with no explanation for the delay.

Today's message is:

August 25, 2015 Message to Marija"Dear children! Also today I am calling you to be prayer. May prayer be for you the wings for an encounter with God. The world is in a moment of trial, because it forgot and abandoned God. Therefore you, little children, be those who seek and love God above all. I am with you and I am leading you to my Son, but you must say your ‘yes’ in the freedom of children of God. I intercede for you and I love you, little children, with an endless love. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Many read through the messages hastily.  I find myself doing the same, and when I do, I don't recognize much value in them.  

But, I have noticed that if I truly try to meditate and pray about the messages ... pondering what it means in my heart like Mary did throughout her life.  Then,  if I treat them like a treasure to  mine, Our Blessed Mother's words challenge me, remind me, and encourage me in a life of ever increasing peace in my heart and in my relationship with God and others. They have brought me direction and guidance. 

They have touched me deeply and profoundly when I truly listen and ponder the words spoken with such love and concern.

Dear Mary, I am so thankful to our God - Father, Son and Holy Spirit - for sending you to us, and to you for your infinite motherly care, which cannot bear to watch her children suffer alone or go unknowingly and deceived into eternal death. 

You long only to bring us to your Son, Jesus, Who is Everything -- Our Lord, Our God and our eternal happiness -- both on earth and in heaven!!! 

How blessed we are to have a God Who never gives up on us and never ceases to do EVERYTHING possible to lead us to salvation!!!! 

Are we listening? 
Do we even know the messages and if so, are we living them? 
Do we even care?
How many more miracles, signs and wonders will it take for us to begin listening and taking Our Blessed Mother's words seriously?

© 2015 Janet Moore. All Rights Reserved.